When Your Pet Passes Away: What to Do First
Losing a beloved pet is one of the most emotionally painful experiences many pet owners face. Whether the passing is sudden or expected, the moment can leave you feeling overwhelmed. In the United States, pet aftercare services have become increasingly accessible, but many still struggle with what steps to take first.
This guide walks you through practical steps for arranging a pet funeral and meaningful ways to cope with grief, tailored to the U.S. cultural context and available services.
Immediate Actions to Take After a Pet’s Death
- Confirm death by checking for breathing, heartbeat, and eye response
- If needed, contact a veterinarian to issue a death confirmation
- Wrap the body in a towel or blanket and store in a cool place
- Contact a local pet cremation service or veterinary clinic for next steps
Veterinary confirmation isn’t legally required for home deaths in most states, but it can help validate cremation or burial services. Many veterinarians also offer guidance or referrals for end-of-life arrangements.
Common Pet Funeral Options in the U.S.
Pet owners in the U.S. typically choose cremation or burial, depending on local regulations and personal preference. Most states prohibit home burial unless on private property with specific zoning. Available options include:
- Private Cremation: Your pet is cremated individually, and ashes are returned to you
- Communal Cremation: Multiple pets are cremated together; no ashes returned
- Burial in a Pet Cemetery: Available in select cities; includes plot, casket, and headstone
Major metro areas like Los Angeles, Chicago, and New York have certified pet crematories that offer on-site services or home pickup. Some even provide live-streaming of the cremation for remote family members.
Step-by-Step: Arranging a Pet Funeral
- Call a local cremation service or pet memorial center to schedule an appointment
- Transport the pet’s body yourself or arrange for pickup (additional fee may apply)
- Optional: Bathe and wrap the body before transport
- Cremation: Typically takes 1 to 2 hours for small to medium pets
- Choose to receive the ashes in an urn or have them scattered
Many providers offer custom urns, paw print keepsakes, or memorial jewelry. Prices and services vary, so ask for an itemized quote in advance.
Typical Costs of Pet Cremation and Burial
In the U.S., pet cremation costs vary by size and service type. According to the Cremation Association of North America (CANA), private cremation for a small dog or cat typically ranges from $150 to $300, while communal cremation costs $50 to $100.
Pet burials in cemeteries may cost $500 to $1,000, including the plot and headstone. Some pet insurance plans may cover a portion of end-of-life costs, so it’s worth checking your policy.
Understanding Grief: Pet Loss Isn’t “Just” Sadness
Grief after losing a pet is a legitimate emotional response—not something to minimize. In fact, clinical studies show pet loss can evoke a grief response similar to losing a close human companion. Yet, societal recognition of this type of grief is often limited.
This can lead to what psychologists call “disenfranchised grief”—a mourning process that lacks social acknowledgment, making it even harder to cope. Validating your own grief is the first step toward healing.
The Five Stages of Grief After Pet Loss
Many grieving pet owners experience a range of emotions that align with the five stages of grief, originally developed by psychiatrist Elisabeth Kübler-Ross:
- Denial: “She’s just sleeping, right?”
- Anger: “Why did this have to happen to my pet?”
- Bargaining: “If only I had taken her to the vet sooner…”
- Depression: “I can’t stop crying. Everything reminds me of her.”
- Acceptance: “She’s gone, but she’ll always be with me.”
These stages aren’t linear and may be experienced repeatedly or out of order. Allow yourself to process each emotion without judgment.
Healthy Ways to Express Your Grief
- Write a letter to your pet expressing your feelings
- Create a photo album or digital slideshow of your memories
- Host a small memorial ceremony with friends or family
- Make a donation in your pet’s name to an animal shelter
Taking active steps to honor your pet can help provide structure during emotional chaos and offer long-term comfort.
When Children Are Involved: Explaining Death to Young Ones
Children often form strong bonds with pets and may struggle deeply with loss. Use age-appropriate language and avoid euphemisms like “went to sleep,” which can cause confusion or fear.
Experts recommend involving children in farewell rituals—like writing goodbye letters or attending the cremation—to help them understand and accept the reality of death in a healthy way.
Healing Takes Time: Let Grief Run Its Course
Grief doesn’t follow a set timeline. Some people feel ready to move forward within weeks, while others may carry the weight for months or years. The key is not to rush yourself or feel pressured to “get over it”.
Therapists trained in pet loss or grief counseling can offer support when emotions become overwhelming. Don’t hesitate to seek help if you need it.
Welcoming a New Pet: When Is the Right Time?
Some pet owners feel guilty about the idea of adopting again, as though they’re “replacing” a lost companion. But opening your heart to a new pet doesn’t erase past love—it honors it.
When your heart feels ready, adopting a new animal can be part of your healing journey. There’s no rule, only what feels right for you.